By using this site, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Accept

empire

  • Lifestyle
    LifestyleShow More
    11 Life-Changing Trips to Take At Least Once
    24/03/2023
    21 Easy Tailgate Recipes to Bring to the Next Game
    20/03/2023
    How to Decide on a Wedding Budget That Works for You
    15/03/2023
    The Productivity Tip You Need, Based on Your Enneagram
    25/02/2023
    Tips to Make the Most of Your Engagement Photos Session
    21/02/2023
  • Finance
    FinanceShow More
    Budgeting Tips for When Everyone You Know is Getting Married
    30/03/2023
    6 Way To Improve Your Relationship With Money
    27/03/2023
    Meet Evernote: Our Best Kept Secret for Staying Ahead of the Workplace
    24/03/2023
    Time Blocking: The Productivity Method Successful Women Swear By
    20/03/2023
    How To Make the Full-Time to Freelance Transition
    14/03/2023
  • Sex
    SexShow More
    5 Easy Ways to Boost Your Sexual Confidence
    30/03/2023
    How To Deal With Sexual Shame, According to Experts
    29/03/2023
    How to Make Your Sex Life Better in Your Relationship
    24/03/2023
    10 Sex Positions To Try When It’s Too Hot To Function
    23/03/2023
    The Sex Position to Try Based on Your Enneagram
    13/03/2023
  • Sport
    SportShow More
    Easy Ways To Move More During the Holidays
    24/03/2023
    Workout Benefits More Important Than Burning Calories
    22/03/2023
    A Personal Trainer’s Tips For Getting The Most from Your Workouts
    16/03/2023
    Why You Need To Change Your Workout Routine
    15/03/2023
    The Best Fitness Tips From Shay Mitchell’s Trainer
    10/03/2023
  • Tech
    TechShow More
    Ezviz BC1C 2K+ review
    30/03/2023
    Realme Pad Mini review
    27/03/2023
    Creality Sermoon V1 Pro review
    21/03/2023
    OnePlus Nord CE 2 review
    17/03/2023
    Tokit Omni Cook review
    16/03/2023
  • Contact
  • English
    • Русский
    • Українська
    • Polski
    • Deutsch
Reading: How to Embrace Your Sexual Fantasies
Share
Notification
Latest News
Ezviz BC1C 2K+ review
Tech
5 Easy Ways to Boost Your Sexual Confidence
Sex
Budgeting Tips for When Everyone You Know is Getting Married
Finance
How To Deal With Sexual Shame, According to Experts
Sex
6 Way To Improve Your Relationship With Money
Finance
Aa

empire

Aa
  • Lifestyle
  • Finance
  • Sex
  • Sport
  • Tech
  • Contact
  • English
Search
  • Lifestyle
  • Finance
  • Sex
  • Sport
  • Tech
  • Contact
  • English
    • Русский
    • Українська
    • Polski
    • Deutsch
empire > Sex > How to Embrace Your Sexual Fantasies
Sex

How to Embrace Your Sexual Fantasies

Haley Cormac By Haley Cormac Published 25/11/2022
Share
SHARE

There are some questions that come up more naturally when you’re starting to date someone new. What do you do? Where are you from? How do you spend your Sundays? As you get further down the road, the conversations become a bit more loaded but are still just as common: defining the relationship, goals and desires for the future, and so on. The topic of sex does not come naturally to many people. How many of your partners have asked you what your sexual fantasies are? Moreover, how many of your friends even discuss it with each other?

Contents
 1. Keep it Fun and Light2. Set the Mood 3. “I have a friend who…”4. Lean on pop culture and the media

There’s often an unnecessary shame around fantasies, paired with feelings of embarrassment and the perceived need for secrecy, when in fact, research shows that many of the most shied-away-from fantasies are a lot more common than you might think. In a study of 4,200 Americans, Dr. Justin Lehmiller found some of the most common fantasies to be group sex, power play (i.e., dominance, sadism or masochism, etc.), non-monogamy, fetishes/kinks, and sexual fluidity, among others.

Board-certified sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Shadeen Francis said, “sexual fantasies can be about transcending and feeling creative and liberated in a completely different world, free from any of the constraints of everyday life.” Fantasies give us a chance to go outside of our typical comfort zone and discover other scenarios that might give us pleasure. Still, broaching the subject with a new partner (or even someone you’ve been with for a long time) can be intimidating, to say the least.

AltSummitHeadshot1

Shadeen Francis

BOARD-CERTIFIED SEX THERAPIST, LICENSED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST

Shadeen focuses on sex therapy, emotional intelligence, and social justice.

But talking to your partner about your fantasies—or embracing them on your own—is just as impactful as talking about masturbation, and these conversations can even help improve your sex life. While Francis reminded us that “not all fantasies are things that we actually want to do or are ready to do,” she emphasized that “sharing [your] fantasies can increase intimacy” with your partner. So how can we start to build that line of communication?

If you’re hesitant to approach the subject, here are four ways to ease the discomfort of talking about your fantasies with your partner.

 

1. Keep it Fun and Light

In a recent podcast interview, clinical sexologist Dr. Kristie Overstreet said to think of fantasies as a “sexual buffet.” She suggested presenting your desires to your partner as options. Be open about the things you’re interested in and make sure they know that they can choose which of them they want to try or not try. What partner is going to turn down a sexual buffet, right? Keep the conversation light and fun to remind your partner that there’s no pressure to act on your fantasies if they do not want to.

pexels-lina-kivaka-3395282-e1628595712916

Source: Pexels

2. Set the Mood

Francis recommended being mindful of the time and place that you choose to start the conversation. You want your partner to be in the right headspace, and you want to feel comfortable too. This situation is going to be different for everyone. For some people, it could mean bringing it up after you’ve had sex and the subject is clearly top of mind. For others, it could be over dinner at home. More often today, it could be over text message. If that’s the case, make sure you have their time and attention so you aren’t left wondering and waiting for a response.

 

3. “I have a friend who…”

The oldest trick in the book. Not quite ready to admit that you spend your nights fantasizing about group sex or non-monogamy? Dip your toe in the water by telling them about your “friend.” This way, you can start to get a read on how your partner feels about the topic. If you aren’t thrilled about their reaction to hearing about your “friend,” you can decide whether this is something you’re alright with tabling or if holding it back is going to put a strain on your relationship. Again, maybe you want to keep your fantasy a fantasy, but if you have an inkling to act on it, creating this openness with your partner is important for the health of your relationship.

embrace-sexual-fantasies-the-everygirl-1

Source: Pexels

4. Lean on pop culture and the media

One step beyond a fictional friend, Dr. Overstreet suggested treading into telling your partner about something sexual you’re interested in by telling them you saw it in a movie, heard it in a podcast, or read about it in an article. If you’re nervous to say this is an existing fantasy, saying you saw, heard, or read about it will help normalize it and take the pressure and spotlight off you. Hey, you can even use this article if you want.

“We create scenarios to achieve a feeling, to get needs met,” Francis explained. The fantasies we create in our mind can be a great way to discover more about ourselves. And as Francis reminded us, “whatever else you want to do with the fantasies is up to you and the power of consent and communication.”

Whether you decide to share your fantasies with someone else or keep them for yourself, the most important thing is to continue to tune into your desires and don’t shy away from the things that bring you pleasure.

Haley Cormac 25/11/2022
Share this Article
Facebook Twitter Email Print
Previous Article I Tried 5 Different Budgeting Apps, Here’s How They Ranked
Next Article How Can You Fix a ‘Bad Kisser’?

Editor's Pick

Samsung Galaxy S22+ review
What Do Sexual Fantasies About Your Ex Mean?
Money Questions Newlyweds Should Ask Each Other
How to Approach Your Boss If You Want a Raise
LG C2 OLED (2022) review

Removed from reading list

Undo
Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Lost your password?